But We Still Need Encouragement, Don't We?

My niece was watching me all day as I was holding the huge stack of Supreme Court cases that I have to study for one of my courses. She'd pass by me and ask "are you doing your homework?" and then again she'd ask "are you done yet?" By the end of the day when she saw me having dinner and was a bit more relaxed she asked: "Did you finally finish your homework?" I said proudly: "yes!" She replied "Good girl!" and I really felt good about myself. However, once I grinned for my achievement of having a 6-year old praising me, she said "I finished my homework before you; I finished it yesterday." My heart was broken. (Yes, last sentence was an exaggeration.)

It got me thinking. When we were children, we would get applauded for almost everything we did. If we finished eating, our mothers would encourage us and praise us for doing so; if we brushed our teeth, we'd get praised for that; if we got a good grade at school, we'd get a star shaped sticker and a nice comment from the teacher, as well as that praise from the family. When you think of it, we would get encouragement and praising for the smallest things, even going to the bathroom!

Now those things that were great achievements for us as children are things we do on daily basis. We automatically do them because we have to, without really seeking any recognition or any "praise" of any kind. We grew to not expect anything from our surroundings. When we work hard for a certain course for example, we do it because we want to do well in that course,  to get a good grade, and that would be it. That good grade on its own is what motivates us or makes us feel good, without really expecting a praise from our family or our teachers.

Having a child telling you "good girl" for getting something done really feels good. Even if we don't know it, we still need that encouragement (just ignore the part where she shows off). The slightest words could make a big difference. We are all hungry for some sort of acknowledgment, even if we don't know it. A lot of us get offended if we got treated like children, but in fact, we all want to be treated like that from time to time.

I guess what you have to do now is, praise a friend or a sibling for something small that they usually do. (I'm not asking you to praise them for brushing their teeth, that would just look like you're being lame.) When you know that they've been working hard on something, just say something that would show some kind of recognition to them. Make sure you sound sincere and not sarcastic; because unfortunately, even if we get applauded and praised, we automatically think that they're just being sarcastic.

Now let's try that, let's see what kind of effect will that leave in our personalities and our surroundings. After all, we all still need some kind of encouragement, don't we?